Watching Your High Child

Today I witnessed my first tooth extraction as a mother. Well, I didn't see the actual extraction but I watched most of the prep. It was Lela who had the procedure done on an extra tooth growing behind her front teeth. I'm glad she was the one for my first experience because of all the children, she's the calmest and most mature when it comes to medical/dental procedures.

So I woke her up this morning at 7:30, just in time for us to leave for her appointment at 8. We got there just a bit late, and then it took about 20 minutes to get the payment and billing squared away (more on that later). . .We were in the waiting room for a bit before they took us to the prep room. I asked Lela if she was nervous, and she said, "A little" but with a smile on her face. She was more nervous about the shots. I explained to her that she would be asleep when they gave her the 3 shots on her lip. She didn't quite understand.

So the first thing they did was let her pick out a movie. She picked Shrek. Then, Nurse gave her this orange liquid in those little medicine cups made for meds. I asked what it was, and Nurse gave the real name. I don't remember it, of course, but I do remember its nickname: Happy Juice. My only thought was, "I want some."

Anyway, the Happy Juice started working quickly to relax Lela. It also gave her the giggles, which was the first weird part of the whole experience. I could see in her eyes that she thought her giggles were strange, too. Needless to say, she thought the first 30 minutes of Shrek was hilarious.

Nurse came in as all the fairy tale characters were moving into Shrek's place. We were taken to another room. Instead of feeling nervous and anxious, Lela giggled as she got on the chair and sat on the large cushions. It was chilly, so Nurse gave her a warm blanket. Nurse hooked Lela up to the oxygen, put the blood pressure cuff on, and placed the blood-oxygen monitor-thingy on Lela's finger. Lela was now ready for the shot that would put her out. Another nurse came in, and she led me back to the waiting room. Having had plenty of teeth extracted in my lifetime, I was a little nervous for Lela (but secretly glad it wasn't me, don't tell anyone).

I went next door to Delta of Venus and got myself a Soy Chai and a breakfast burrito with no peppers. I took it back to the waiting room, burnt my tongue and throat with my first sip, and chowed the burrito down. I finished the huge burrito, wishing my drink wasn't so hot so I could wash the onion taste out of my mouth. Shortly after, Nurse came out to get me and there was Lela in a comfy chair, with her comfy blanket and a piece of slightly bloody gauze hanging out of her mouth. Oh, and did I mention that she had crazy nystagmus from being high?

I had to wait 15 minutes while they monitored her blood pressure before taking her home, so my main job was keeping her from falling asleep. So I asked questions, called my husband to let him know we were coming home soon, and kept Lela from getting up. She was very irritated at being dizzy, and it was a little disconcerting to listen to her slurred speech through the gauze. And she kept telling me about how the blinds were right behind me. They were about 4 feet behind me, but apparently she saw them directly behind me. She even tried to kick them, which made me want to bust out in nervous giggles. But being the good mom I am, I kept my composure.

I was already feeling awkward sitting next to my oldest child, who was high as a kite. And to make it worse, she kept looking. . .gaping. . .at me and saying, "You have 4 eyes and 2 mouths".

Finally, we were able to go home. Nurse took the gauze out of her mouth, and thankfully we didn't have to put anymore in. I pulled the car to the door, where another nurse had carried her out. We put Lela in the front seat (don't worry, the airbags turn off) and Lela and I left for home.

The creepiness got worse on the car ride home. I kept glancing at her to make sure she wasn't going to keel over. One of these glances were met with another one of those gaping, open-mouthed looks and she told me as she pointed, "You have one eye here, one eye here, one eye here and one eye here." Her voice was very loud, and very drugged. I glanced at her again and she had them same look with a smile, "Here, here, here, and here." Then, she chuckled.

So that was my first experience watching my child flying high.

PS When Johnny found out how much the procedure was going to cost, he said, "Well, if any of the other kids have problems with their teeth they'll just to have fugly teeth."