"The hours were long, but the days went fast."
This October will mark my 10th anniversary as a professional mother.
Here's where I started: 3 years into my Christian walk, married 1 year and 2 months, just shy of 23 years old.
When little Lela was born, I had a whole heart full of expectations and ideas of how I was going to parent. But reality hit when nursing was beyond difficult, recovery was arduous, and I had this little blob that needed to come with me everywhere I went. Taking care of an infant was much harder than it looked in all the books I read.
My "rookie" years were tough. I was fully immersed in parenthood with little professional preparation. After only 20 months on the job, I potty trained Lela (also harder in real life than in books) in preparation for the 2nd kid-- a baby boy who never stopped moving in the womb.
He was a shocker from the beginning, with his blonde hair and blue eyes. He cried a lot. Not the colicky cry, or Lela's "I'm settling down" crying before naps, which would have been more tolerable, but a whiny, unhappy-with-anything crying. Plus the 6 month old could crawl all over me like a ferret. And did so often.
Then I found out I was pregnant with Charlotte. I remember thinking, "I already have a baby, what am I going to do with another?"
So there I was, with three babies 3 years old and under. Hubbie was working like a dog but not making very much. We lived in a dumpy townhouse in downtown Davis with an inaccessible decomposing rat in our attic. We were on the WIC and CHOC programs and still barely keeping the power on.
Spiritually, I was in a desperate place. My faith was firm, but my preggo or nursing mind couldn't seem to think straight. Every time I had a quiet-time to do my Bible studies, I would fall asleep. The stress of daily-life was taking a toll on me, Hubbie and our marriage. When I prayed, I had no words-- just a silent cry for help.
As a Bible-following Christ-believing Christian, you hear talk of "everlasting joy" and a "peace that surpasses all understanding." Back then, they were just words to me. I was too pre-occupied with life itself to have a good handle on what those expressions could mean for me. It was hard for me to look beyond finances and a baby who had to eat cheese squares because we couldn't afford baby food. I was up to my neck in poopy diapers and potty training and toddler tantrums. Where is the joy in all that? How was I to find any peace at all?
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. --Romans 5:3-5 (NIV)
In days of morning sickness and guilt over letting little toddlers watch hours of tv while I rested, I was in a bit of a spiritual lethargy. Joy was allusive. Peace was foreign. But I had the truth of the gospel and His love for me, though I didn't feel it. Romans 5 became my comfort. I was falling short of all I thought I should be doing as a good Christian, but I could persevere. So I did. I just survived.
God provided everything I needed to keep my head above water. My friends were there praying, supporting, role modeling. Family was nearby to provide much needed breaks and help. We had what we needed to eat, have electricity and put gas in our cars. I maintained perspective, sticking to the truth of "This too will pass."
And then during an annual retreat with some fellow moms, my good friend introduced me to this piece of Scripture:
He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.--Isaiah 40:11 (NIV)
Meditating upon these verses, I reached a turning point in my career. God doesn't just have grace for all of our sins, He has grace for us in all of our circumstances. He knows every minute detail of our daily grind. Of course he would allow for more or less grace, depending on what is going on. Because He is a compassionate God.
So those days when I would fall into a deep sleep during quiet, praying times-- He knew what I needed and probably induced that. The days I thought the kids wouldn't stop crying and I was washing purposely painted excrement off the walls, He sustained me and the day would end quickly. The times I was at my worst and losing a grip on my faith, He would gently tip my chin up, put His hands on my shoulders and keep me walking forward.
His love never failed. I persevered through those early years. I held on to God's gentle hand. And He led me to quiet waters.
Well, as quiet as 5 kids can get. . .
I'm not half-way through my career yet. And I don't know what the next 10 years is going to look like. There are, for certain, more trials to come.
But I can say this: that through perseverance, through standing firm in Truth and not feelings, I have discovered the allusive joy and foreign peace.
I persevered. Because I persevered, I gained character. Because I gained character, I was given hope. And this hope doesn't disappoint because of His love, given to us by the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is a constant when we stand firm in faith.
And it must be mentioned that the world is not about me. I am not the center of the universe. There is a bigger picture, a picture larger than the universe. The "Kingdom Business", as Paster Glen Snyder puts it, is not about making me feel great. It's not about making my life easier. At least, not until it's my turn to enter the gates of Heaven.
The "Kingdom Business" is about restoring man to God. And He's already taken the pivotal step: coming down as man, dying on the cross to take our punishment for sin, then rising from the dead as no other god can do. Now the Big Boss wants us to take this love He gave us and love Him back. In loving Him back, He wants us to love all His peoples.
Included in these peoples are the little peoples. The ones entrusted into our care. The ones who push our buttons, embarrass us in the grocery store, bite their Sunday school teachers, wake us up in the middle of the night because they fear "can't-see-ems", play with our faces when we let them snuggle with us early in the mornings, cry during family pictures, poop their pants in Costco, treat Wal-Mart like a park, make you change into pajamas because they've garfed all over your clean outfits, and leave floaties in your much anticipated glass of juice.
God never said it would be easy. He just told us to do it. Love them. Joyfully and Have Peace.
But how?
I am glad to say that in this current second, my trials are not tribulations. My trials are more like irritations (thanks for the distinction, Beth Moore). But it's not to say that my irritations are not wearisome. I am actually in a constant state of weariness. Not just physically from my new-found exercise hobby. But bone-weariness and grouchiness to boot.
Yet, I have found out how to have Joy and Peace through it all. I have found out how to have Joy and Peace through unhappiness and discomfort.
It's perseverance-- sticking to the truth, and not relying on feelings. Keep on keeping on. Get through the day. Then start over in the morning.
It's perspective-- lowering expectations and remembering that life isn't about "me". Stick to the Kingdom Business.
It's honesty and humility-- seeking help where help is needed.
It's having character-- loving people, loving the children, loving the Hubbie, and doing what is right and true.
It's having hope-- God is good, no matter how we feel. "It will all be okay." is a cliche for a reason. Use it until it becomes an over-used cliche. And then use it again. Because God is good.
So breathe in the Holy Spirit, breathe out all else-- self-doubt, burn-out, stress, worry, negativity, ungratefulness, selfishness, bitterness. . .
You were chosen for one of the most noblest tasks. . .employed by the perfect Almighty Big Boss. . .Your work has not gone unnoticed. . .And there is reward waiting for you at the end. . . .Keep working, fellow mothers. . .When God is for us, who can be against us?
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Family Council. . .Blog Day #29
I have written before about this new stage in life I'm entering: the big kids phase. Everything in my life is looking differently than it did even just 3 years ago. Bedtime routines are easier, with only 2 kids needing to be tucked in. I only have to buckle one child into his car seat. The big kids can read, so they can pick out TV shows for themselves and for the littles. Everyone but Henry can swim, so I can truly relax at the pool.
And Family Council has been incorporated into our routine. Johnny and I have stressed its importance and the kids look forward to it every month.
It's simple, really. Now that we aren't outnumbered by toddlers, even the four year old participates. Henry does not, but he enjoys the pizza and dessert.
So it looks a little like this:
First, we have a little notebook to keep the minutes in. During the month, I write little notes in it and keep a time-card. I fine them anywhere from $0.25 to $0.75 for dawdling, talking back, not listening and obeying at chore time. I add $1.00 to $3.00 for extra chores and in Lela's case, helping with Henry. Johnny and I will plan ahead on what needs to be talked about, or if any family events are coming up.
On the day of family council, which is usually within the first week of every month, we inform the kids as to when we will be meeting. It's a pizza night, and one kid will get to prepare and serve the snack. Before we sit down, we all stand behind our assigned seats and look to the book to see who gets to pick a new seat first. The kids usually remember, but we keep a record anyway.
We go in order of age, with the exception of Henry, who always has to sit next to me. In June, it is Daddy's turn to pick his seat first. We stay in our assigned seats until next family council.
We take prayer requests, and then open up in prayer. It is great to pray as a family.
We eat pizza. While we are eating, we change seating assignments for the car, which is also by age. The three oldest take monthly turns sitting in shotgun (don't worry, the airbag turns off). We talk about the month's assigned chores for mornings, afternoons, and evenings.
We discuss problems and brainstorm solutions. The most common problems: cleaning up after oneself, flushing toilets and hanging up towels, and turning off the lights and shutting the doors when you leave a room.
We give compliments and show our appreciation for each other. Johnny and I try to spotlight on specific times when the kids did exceptionally well. In May, it was how much the kids listened and obeyed on Easter day when I was playing the piano at church and while I was at home cooking our big meal.
We talk about upcoming events. If we are planning on a hike, we discuss rules. If we are planning to go camping, we menu plan and make a list of activities we'd like to participate in. If there is a family vacation, we talk about expectations and money (ex. going to Disneyland but we will not buy souvenirs or ask to buy souvenirs).
By this time, Henry is usually ready to get out of his seat and the kids are getting restless. So the child who prepared the snack will serve the snack as dessert. Usually, it's brownies. In May, Johnny decided to give them hot chocolate with one gigantic marshmallow in each cup. I wouldn't recommend this. The marshmallows, which were bigger than Zoe's hand, were a bit of a distraction.
As soon as snack is over, allowance is paid. In our family, allowance is more like "family fun." In order to participate in "family fun", you have to participate in "family work". So while the kids do have quite a bit of chores, they also get to have money of their own. Our pay-scale is this: $10 at 10 years old, $5 at 5 years old, and $3 for under 5. It's not much, but all we can afford. They each get paid, one at a time in dollar bills, the base pay and then whatever extras they earned. After receiving all of their "paycheck", they pay any fines owed. They take the moneys and put them in their designated envelopes: savings, tithing, and spending.
We quickly clear the table, and move to the school room where I play the piano and we sing together as a family. That is new, as of last month.
And the meeting is adjourned. If the meeting is held on a weekend evening, then it's movie night. If not, then those who put their pajamas on in a timely fashion get to watch a little TV before bed..
In writing, it doesn't seem as exciting as it is in real life. But the benefits of training the kids to spend one night exclusively with us and each other is priceless. Through this monthly meeting we get the chance to pray as a whole, to openly discuss what the needs are, to learn to express appreciation in the spoken word, and to cultivate the togetherness that needs to be there if we are to be a tight-knit family.
It seemed so impossible when I had three toddlers and I felt like I was in the bathroom all day being the toilet monitor and butt-wiper.
But as my little babies grow older, we can function a little differently. As each child grows in maturity, we use their independence to our advantage. We incorporate them into a monthly family business meeting and connect with them by allowing them to contribute to the decisions we make.
Each month, we have a reminder that we are a family unit, and that we all belong to each other.
Family Council, I love it. . .
And Family Council has been incorporated into our routine. Johnny and I have stressed its importance and the kids look forward to it every month.
It's simple, really. Now that we aren't outnumbered by toddlers, even the four year old participates. Henry does not, but he enjoys the pizza and dessert.
So it looks a little like this:
First, we have a little notebook to keep the minutes in. During the month, I write little notes in it and keep a time-card. I fine them anywhere from $0.25 to $0.75 for dawdling, talking back, not listening and obeying at chore time. I add $1.00 to $3.00 for extra chores and in Lela's case, helping with Henry. Johnny and I will plan ahead on what needs to be talked about, or if any family events are coming up.
On the day of family council, which is usually within the first week of every month, we inform the kids as to when we will be meeting. It's a pizza night, and one kid will get to prepare and serve the snack. Before we sit down, we all stand behind our assigned seats and look to the book to see who gets to pick a new seat first. The kids usually remember, but we keep a record anyway.
We go in order of age, with the exception of Henry, who always has to sit next to me. In June, it is Daddy's turn to pick his seat first. We stay in our assigned seats until next family council.
We take prayer requests, and then open up in prayer. It is great to pray as a family.
We eat pizza. While we are eating, we change seating assignments for the car, which is also by age. The three oldest take monthly turns sitting in shotgun (don't worry, the airbag turns off). We talk about the month's assigned chores for mornings, afternoons, and evenings.
We discuss problems and brainstorm solutions. The most common problems: cleaning up after oneself, flushing toilets and hanging up towels, and turning off the lights and shutting the doors when you leave a room.
We give compliments and show our appreciation for each other. Johnny and I try to spotlight on specific times when the kids did exceptionally well. In May, it was how much the kids listened and obeyed on Easter day when I was playing the piano at church and while I was at home cooking our big meal.
We talk about upcoming events. If we are planning on a hike, we discuss rules. If we are planning to go camping, we menu plan and make a list of activities we'd like to participate in. If there is a family vacation, we talk about expectations and money (ex. going to Disneyland but we will not buy souvenirs or ask to buy souvenirs).
By this time, Henry is usually ready to get out of his seat and the kids are getting restless. So the child who prepared the snack will serve the snack as dessert. Usually, it's brownies. In May, Johnny decided to give them hot chocolate with one gigantic marshmallow in each cup. I wouldn't recommend this. The marshmallows, which were bigger than Zoe's hand, were a bit of a distraction.
As soon as snack is over, allowance is paid. In our family, allowance is more like "family fun." In order to participate in "family fun", you have to participate in "family work". So while the kids do have quite a bit of chores, they also get to have money of their own. Our pay-scale is this: $10 at 10 years old, $5 at 5 years old, and $3 for under 5. It's not much, but all we can afford. They each get paid, one at a time in dollar bills, the base pay and then whatever extras they earned. After receiving all of their "paycheck", they pay any fines owed. They take the moneys and put them in their designated envelopes: savings, tithing, and spending.
We quickly clear the table, and move to the school room where I play the piano and we sing together as a family. That is new, as of last month.
And the meeting is adjourned. If the meeting is held on a weekend evening, then it's movie night. If not, then those who put their pajamas on in a timely fashion get to watch a little TV before bed..
In writing, it doesn't seem as exciting as it is in real life. But the benefits of training the kids to spend one night exclusively with us and each other is priceless. Through this monthly meeting we get the chance to pray as a whole, to openly discuss what the needs are, to learn to express appreciation in the spoken word, and to cultivate the togetherness that needs to be there if we are to be a tight-knit family.
It seemed so impossible when I had three toddlers and I felt like I was in the bathroom all day being the toilet monitor and butt-wiper.
But as my little babies grow older, we can function a little differently. As each child grows in maturity, we use their independence to our advantage. We incorporate them into a monthly family business meeting and connect with them by allowing them to contribute to the decisions we make.
Each month, we have a reminder that we are a family unit, and that we all belong to each other.
Family Council, I love it. . .
How to Be a Successful Parent Without Trying. . .Blog Day #28
What is your version of a good parent?
What do you measure your success with? Behavior? Clean children? Kids who don't squeeze the bread in the grocery store?
One day I had sent all the kids to the car to go to swim practice. Lela was in charge of buckling Henry in and giving him his blanket. Ten minutes later I heard some commotion outside and found that they were all running around the street like wild animals. Two of them were barefoot, and one had not gotten his Speedo on. They had also let the dog out so she was barking and running around chasing pigeons. Henry was on the sidewalk, pointing to a sister across the street, and wanting to go get her.
"Get in the car!" I yelled, but to no avail. Finally, I screamed, "I am going to count to 10 and you need to get in the car!"
I started counting, slowly so they had time to run from where they were and seat themselves in the car. Which they did. I buckled Henry in and found out that no one had their swim bags, Ethan couldn't find his Speedo and Charlotte didn't know where her shoes were. Lela was making obnoxious noises (she would say she was singing) and Zoe had peed her panties. And I had forgotten my keys in the house.
It's days like this that make me feel like a failure. Did I do something wrong to make life so crazy? Maybe if I were a better mom I wouldn't have days like this. . .
My good friend, Megan, and I agreed that it would be nice to have a do-over. "God, can we start over? With a new set of kids, now that we know what to do?"
There are other things that make me feel like a failure. . . .the endless mound of laundry on my couch, the clutter on my kitchen hutch, the dirty laundry spilling out into the hallway from the laundry room, the child who pitches a fit every time I tell her she can't color when it's reading time, the toddler whose hair is slicked back with oatmeal as hair gel, the Comet spilled all around the toilet instead of inside the toilet... I could probably go on for days. . .
It's the daily grind, the mundane chores, the amount of responsibilities I have but can't get to that cause me to feel like I fall way short of the Good Mother award.
But most of the time, the reality of it all is that I try too hard.
I have this picture in my mind of a calm, gentle, loving and nurturing mother whose children love her soo much they obey compulsively. If they do make mistakes, she wisely and quietly corrects them and they immediately say, "Yes, Mother." Everyone is dressed nicely, hair combed and fixed, matching socks, matching shoes, bathed on a daily basis with soap. Beds are made with fitted sheet, flat sheet tucked in, bedspread, comforter, decorative pillows and regular pillows and matching valences to boot. Oh, and did I mention that all the bedding is sewn by said mother? And the beds are never stripped for impromptu fort building right before they have to leave for an appointment.
This is not real. I am quite the opposite. I yell, threaten, throw bundled urine-filled diapers to catch a kid's attention, hide in the bathroom while kids are jumping on couches and dog is eating abandoned bowls of cereal on the table, ignore the giant loads of clean laundry that needs to be folded, and make the toddler wear two different socks because I don't feel like finding some matching ones for her.
Yet if you met my kids, you would know that they are very happy. They enjoy each other's company, rarely says anything mean-spirited about any one, notices if someone is a believer of Jesus or not, and act like kids who are secure in their parents' love for them. Their dad works long hours and is often gone or sleeping, but they show no bitterness and treat him like he's around all the time. They have compassion for the poor, empathy for kids who are hurt, and the ability to share in other people's joy. They are all independent, able to help with cleaning the house, trustworthy outside, and looks out for the little ones.
And I truly believe that it's not about my effort, though I'd like to think so.
I am far from being that ideal mom who does everything with a smile.
Yet, I can say that my first 10 years as a parent have been successful. I believe I've got a pretty solid foundation for the next 16 years of parenting.
So how do you be a successful parent without trying?
By trying, I mean by doing everything. Cleaning, sweeping, laundering, cooking, gardening, driving, teaching, volunteering, sewing, spending, signing up for soccer, coaching, team parenting. While these things are great and we must be a good steward of all things given us, parenting is not about the house.
It's about the home. . .So here's a few ways to be successful at parenting without trying:
So the secret of my success: I've learned, and am learning, to lower my own expectations of myself. I have learned, and am still learning, that I need to stop trying so hard to be "perfect." Cleaning only until comfortable, cooking a few convenience foods, putting the kids in front of the tv when I'm having a tough day. . .My parenting isn't perfect. My kids are not perfect. Despite all our combined shortcomings, they are all learning to love Jesus, to love people, to love each other. They are solid on their feet, come to me for help, feel secure in their trust in me and aren't afraid to laugh and play even when I'm in my worst temper.
God fills in the blanks, you are just there to nurture, to guide with a gentle but firm hand, to teach them how to view things with God's eyes. Leave the gourmet organic cooking, crafty and artsy activities, quiet and sitting still kids for the fictional books.
Stop trying so hard.
What do you measure your success with? Behavior? Clean children? Kids who don't squeeze the bread in the grocery store?
One day I had sent all the kids to the car to go to swim practice. Lela was in charge of buckling Henry in and giving him his blanket. Ten minutes later I heard some commotion outside and found that they were all running around the street like wild animals. Two of them were barefoot, and one had not gotten his Speedo on. They had also let the dog out so she was barking and running around chasing pigeons. Henry was on the sidewalk, pointing to a sister across the street, and wanting to go get her.
"Get in the car!" I yelled, but to no avail. Finally, I screamed, "I am going to count to 10 and you need to get in the car!"
I started counting, slowly so they had time to run from where they were and seat themselves in the car. Which they did. I buckled Henry in and found out that no one had their swim bags, Ethan couldn't find his Speedo and Charlotte didn't know where her shoes were. Lela was making obnoxious noises (she would say she was singing) and Zoe had peed her panties. And I had forgotten my keys in the house.
It's days like this that make me feel like a failure. Did I do something wrong to make life so crazy? Maybe if I were a better mom I wouldn't have days like this. . .
My good friend, Megan, and I agreed that it would be nice to have a do-over. "God, can we start over? With a new set of kids, now that we know what to do?"
There are other things that make me feel like a failure. . . .the endless mound of laundry on my couch, the clutter on my kitchen hutch, the dirty laundry spilling out into the hallway from the laundry room, the child who pitches a fit every time I tell her she can't color when it's reading time, the toddler whose hair is slicked back with oatmeal as hair gel, the Comet spilled all around the toilet instead of inside the toilet... I could probably go on for days. . .
It's the daily grind, the mundane chores, the amount of responsibilities I have but can't get to that cause me to feel like I fall way short of the Good Mother award.
But most of the time, the reality of it all is that I try too hard.
I have this picture in my mind of a calm, gentle, loving and nurturing mother whose children love her soo much they obey compulsively. If they do make mistakes, she wisely and quietly corrects them and they immediately say, "Yes, Mother." Everyone is dressed nicely, hair combed and fixed, matching socks, matching shoes, bathed on a daily basis with soap. Beds are made with fitted sheet, flat sheet tucked in, bedspread, comforter, decorative pillows and regular pillows and matching valences to boot. Oh, and did I mention that all the bedding is sewn by said mother? And the beds are never stripped for impromptu fort building right before they have to leave for an appointment.
This is not real. I am quite the opposite. I yell, threaten, throw bundled urine-filled diapers to catch a kid's attention, hide in the bathroom while kids are jumping on couches and dog is eating abandoned bowls of cereal on the table, ignore the giant loads of clean laundry that needs to be folded, and make the toddler wear two different socks because I don't feel like finding some matching ones for her.
Yet if you met my kids, you would know that they are very happy. They enjoy each other's company, rarely says anything mean-spirited about any one, notices if someone is a believer of Jesus or not, and act like kids who are secure in their parents' love for them. Their dad works long hours and is often gone or sleeping, but they show no bitterness and treat him like he's around all the time. They have compassion for the poor, empathy for kids who are hurt, and the ability to share in other people's joy. They are all independent, able to help with cleaning the house, trustworthy outside, and looks out for the little ones.
And I truly believe that it's not about my effort, though I'd like to think so.
I am far from being that ideal mom who does everything with a smile.
Yet, I can say that my first 10 years as a parent have been successful. I believe I've got a pretty solid foundation for the next 16 years of parenting.
So how do you be a successful parent without trying?
By trying, I mean by doing everything. Cleaning, sweeping, laundering, cooking, gardening, driving, teaching, volunteering, sewing, spending, signing up for soccer, coaching, team parenting. While these things are great and we must be a good steward of all things given us, parenting is not about the house.
It's about the home. . .So here's a few ways to be successful at parenting without trying:
- Allow your kids to develop their own personality while still obeying your rules.
- Teach your kids to be able play independently, or with siblings. You are not a playmate/friend. That comes later.
- You are at least 20 years older than them. Don't let them crawl under your skin.
- Teach them good manners. . .When you say, "Use your polite manners." They should know which phrase to use under the circumstances. Ex) "Thank you for inviting us over.", or "Yes, please." or "Will you please pass the french fries?"
- While you want cooperation, teach them that you love them and it's your job to have them listen and obey. Expecting respect for you and your spouse saves a lot of grief and drama. Which means that you have to be respectable. Ouch.
- Open ended questions, for a toddler, are overwhelming. Narrow it down for them, and then if they can't decide, then the next two choices should be, "Do you want to pick, or do you want me to?"
- Remember that it's not your job to necessarily understand them, but to love them.
- Remember that it is not your job to accomplish everything on your to-do list. An immaculate house probably means the kids were outside messing up your yard. An immaculate yard either means you have money for a garden guy or the kids were busy messing up your immaculate house while you did your yard.
- Treat mothering as you would any profession. Get up, get dressed, put your makeup on, and treat it like you would any career choice. The only difference is, the pay check comes in eternal rewards and you can't change careers.
- Teach the kids that the world does not revolve around them. Entitled children can be just as bad as poor behaving children. We none of us "deserve" anything. It's because of Jesus that we have what we have.
- And remember when you are scrubbing the toilets, finding "science experiments" under the beds, changing poopy diapers, dealing with tantrums, dealing with sassy mouths, resigning yourself to a constant state of tired-ness, that the world does not revolve around you.
So the secret of my success: I've learned, and am learning, to lower my own expectations of myself. I have learned, and am still learning, that I need to stop trying so hard to be "perfect." Cleaning only until comfortable, cooking a few convenience foods, putting the kids in front of the tv when I'm having a tough day. . .My parenting isn't perfect. My kids are not perfect. Despite all our combined shortcomings, they are all learning to love Jesus, to love people, to love each other. They are solid on their feet, come to me for help, feel secure in their trust in me and aren't afraid to laugh and play even when I'm in my worst temper.
God fills in the blanks, you are just there to nurture, to guide with a gentle but firm hand, to teach them how to view things with God's eyes. Leave the gourmet organic cooking, crafty and artsy activities, quiet and sitting still kids for the fictional books.
Stop trying so hard.
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